I woke up with a sore throat and a head cold this morning, so I decided to take the day off work. Being sick sucks, but ailing does have its upside, mostly in the form of USA Network’s 3-hour block of Walker, Texas Ranger. Having forgotten how early the fun starts, I missed most of the first episode to see Tubbins Lucas hawk the Young Indiana Jones DVD to a fawning Diane Sawyer on Good Morning America. But I did at least catch a little bit of Daniel Dae Kim’s turn as heartless Asian villain “Khan.” In response to a distressed damsel’s declaration that he’s a sick man, he replies, “Yes, but I’m going to be a very rich, sick man.”
The next episode started with Walker failing to stop a little kid from jumping off a roof. It sounds tragic. but apparently this kid had wrinkled clothes and smelled pretty bad (thankfully his schoolmates had the guts to tell him). Still, Walker took it pretty hard, so he upped his karate-teaching program and brought in Deion Sanders to give a pep talk. The episode’s only half over, but I’m sure this will solve the whole suicide problem. Meanwhile, the other rangers in Walker’s crew are busy infiltrating a salsa club that’s also smuggling weapons to Iraq.
Update: Naturally, I’ve seen this one before. At least the part that was just on, where Danny Trejo saunters out of the crowd at a middle school “Pride Day” (it’s not what you think) and tells off some gang members. I’d say it’s the best cameo ever, but we’re talking about a show that’s seen Isaac Hayes, Giovanni Ribisi, Haley Joel Dodge Neon, and, of course, Hulk Hogan, grace its set. (And that list is just off the top of my head. I’m sure there’s dozens more.)